1.12.2007

Face of the year 2006

"The last thing I remember..." isn't usually a good sign when recounting a story but sometimes that's how it needs to be told. The last thing I remember of 2006 was balancing a plastic glass of champagne in my hand while salsa dancing in the bus front lounge up the highway from Long Island to Toronto.

The first thing I remember of 2007 was someone suggesting I might want to pull myself together before we got to the Canadian border a few minutes away. I could barely remember what a passport was much less WHERE to find mine but through the fog of this addled consciousness cut an image of our tour manager lecturing us about border guards.

I believe he described them as police school rejects who'd like nothing better than to find a reason to impound our bus and make us all late for the most magical experience ten thousand Canadian 8-year-olds could possibly hope for, at least this television season.

He said the only good response to border guard questions started out "Yes ma'am" or "Yes sir" followed by absolute truth. I distinctly remember him saying that THEY...HAVE...US...BY...OUR..BALLS and looking so serious that I didn't even want to raise my hand to object to his gender-exclusive language and make a joke about fallopian tubes.

Our border guard turned out to be a jolly uncle type so there was no need for me to get so nervous that I forgot basic information about my life, like what job I do on tour. He asked me and I said, "Ummmmm. Ticketing. And. Publicity?" Fortunately I had no fits of inappropriate giggles, my other common response to police presence.

We made it across the border free of any impounding, drug-sniffing canines, slit-eyed questioning and it was a brand new year. Welcome to 2007.

5 comments:

CHIC-HANDSOME said...

good year

Ima Jo said...

I can't believe I made it into the finals. Usually at this point, I am axed and my face never makes it to broadcast. It's nice to see a change. And Dear Ronckytonk Readers, usually I am the one ass-out of the picture, hanging on the edge of fabulousness trying to be more than the fringe.

Lukas said...

my face?

but seriously: how did you get that photo?

ronckytonk said...

i stole it online duriing the 12-hour period that it was posted on friendster six months ago and then held onto it until the perfect moment arrived in which to bring it back to the public domain. aka now. it still makes me want to give you a hug and a vitamin.

Anonymous said...

hey b:
on the whole coffee trip: jamilla is opening her lil coffee shop in the nati. the website is so sweet, you just know the coffee is gonna be to your likin. www.thespeckeledbirdcafe.com or maybe just www,speckledbirdcafe.com, no the.
anyway, now we'll have a place to go when when we go to the nati.
can't wait to meet you on the sofa for some lost.
xxx
b2