Coyotes chasing people on bicycles
Camel spiders so big you can hear them walking in the sand
Bears eating your steaks off the grill while you hide in the camper van
Pythons living under your house and eating all the pets in the neighborhood
Opossums crawling up the pipes and sitting in your toilet when you go to use it
Giant raccoons eating the cat food by your front door and charging you when you try to go inside
Copperheads slithering inside your car, molting their skin in the baby carseat, and then curling up underneath the driver seat
The words below are just another reason Patton Oswalt is one of my favorites.
For the people who lost their lives, limbs, and sense of peace at the Boston Marathon yesterday, for the many Afghan wedding-goers who were also killed and wounded yesterday by a US bomb that missed its target, for the 17-year-old Nashville boy who was shot and killed while waiting for a school bus last Thursday and for everyone we don't know about.
Boston. Fucking horrible.
I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, "Well, I've had it with humanity."
But I was wrong. I don't know what's going to be revealed to be
behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of
But here's what I DO know. If it's one
person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a
fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet.
You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS
the destruction to help out. (Thanks FAKE Gallery founder and owner
Paul Kozlowski for pointing this out to me). This is a giant planet and
we're lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred
for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in
awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and
they're pointed towards darkness.
But the vast majority
stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a
virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers
and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion
or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently
evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
So when you
spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety
misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, "The
good outnumber you, and we always will."
I don't like karaoke because my singing voice isn't great and I'm self conscious about it but I believe I've found the best place to watch karaoke in Nashville: Santa's Pub. Santa's is the best because the bar is built out of a double wide trailer, there is Santa Claus graffiti painted on the outside, and the inside is Christmas themed all year round. When I walked in last weekend, though, I thought huh, this is what all the good ratings on Yelp are about? It seemed run down and smoky. As the night went on, however, I GOT IT. People poured in the doors, had their IDs checked by a woman wearing an "I Heart White Trash Country Boys" shirt, sang and cheered and were crazy diverse in style, race, sexual orientation, and age.
Santa came out from behind the bar to serenade us.
There was headbanging. Matthew and I nicknamed the guy on the right Rafael because he looks exactly like my parents' exchange student from Chile who is a metal guitarist.
Adam and Matthew get in the game.
As do these guys.
It's kind of hard to see in this photo, but AJ is an older gentleman with fluffy white hair and cowboy hat who worked the crowd and wove through the tables as he crooned old country.
The sign: no cussin, no beer, no cigarettes on karaoke stage.
Miss May! I loved this little lady. She sang about how she don't need no rocking chair.
And Amanda, who got her GROOVE ON. Sang it, sister.