2.15.2012

Laughing quietly to myself (just a little)

About how Matthew was trailed by store staff when he shopped at Target in a Nashville suburb. Next time he goes to Target, if there is a next time (there will be next time), I hope he walks in, approaches the first employee he sees and says, "Hi, my name is Matthew. I'm 32 years old and have a Masters degree in Library Science. I'm wearing a "battle jacket" that I made by sewing patches and a smattering of black studs onto my black denim jacket. Yes, I like punk, hardcore, and metal but I also like Ryan Adams' love songs and opera. I don't have a patch of Maria Callas to prove that so you'll have to take my word for it. I own an energy-efficient washer and dryer and wear expensive deodorant from Sephora that doesn't contain aluminum. My wife and I just bought a new couch from Macys. I did not come to Target to steal CDs from your shitty music collection; I need a LAMPSHADE. What aisle can I find that in? Thank you."

3 comments:

zan said...

Just for you guys, I'm totally wearing black lipstick and combat boots and scowling my way through Target next time I have to go. (I wonder what they thought of me shopping in the boys' department?)

ronckytonk said...

This time last year I purchased Spider Man and Batman underwear for myself in the boys section of Target, may have raised an eyebrow for genderbending (gasp!)

VladyMiria said...

I hate when you go into stores and they assume because you either Are a teenager, you dress a bit different or you look like a hobo, that must mean you are a thief. Living in Nashville has taught me people are too judgmental.