Las Vegas, making me want to go to the library

I become at once both more and less of myself in Las Vegas. In four days, I didn't have one urge to be outside or outdoors or any place other than the casino/concert venue where I was working. I happily walked from my room to the casino for coffee in the morning and then through the casino to the  arena for work in the afternoon and back at night.

I breathed fresh air for five minutes when I ran out to the loading dock security guard to tell him that Tropicana Pizza would be making a delivery for the band and dancer dressing room. And I didn't appreciate it, the relative freshness of the air in that moment. I mostly wondered why the guard was quoting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, something about "never paying for cold pizza." I wanted to tell him that I was in my 30's and too old for his reference and I wondered when I could go back inside.

I usually thrive on natural light and spend as little time inside walls as possible. Not in Vegas. 

In Vegas I'm cool with climate-controlled buildings. Which may make me temporarily okay with wasting energy and water. And, some might argue, space. One might be led to believe that I like artificial over-stimulation: blinking lights, audio walls, bare skin everywhere. Except I don't normally like that stuff either. 

Am I just being contrary? A case could be made. After my first night in Las Vegas, I wanted to drink less and read more. I wanted to find a library. I WANTED TO USE THE DEWEY DECIMAL SYSTEM. I remembered when my job was organizing author tours for my book publishing employer and how hard it was to find an audience in Las Vegas for readings. The bookstores either weren't accessible or people weren't that interested. The reading usually tanked.

So what's the Vegas alternative to book readings? The AVN Adult Movie Awards hosted by porn star Tera Patrick? The AVN Awards commercial was blared and broadcast on most of hotel elevator rides I took and I made fun of it because HONESTLY, what do porn awards celebrate?

Best blow job? Best anal scene? Best "plot"?

Matt and I were sniggering about the whole porn award concept on the elevator when the guy standing in front of us, a super-tan beefcake whose muscles were barely restrained by his tight button down shirt and jeans that cost as much as my former rent, turned to Matt and said, "It's a good show. You should watch it," before stepping off on his floor.

Yeah okay, dude! Good luck with that. I hope you win something you're proud of, like Best Male Performer/Best F**ker.

The thing is, I'm not even anti-porn. (Or anti-gambling, drinking, stripping). That doesn't mean I'm always up for those things; it just means I don't like feeling like I'm supposed to act or feel a certain way just BECAUSE. Because a) I'm in Vegas I must do b).  For some reason I'd rather disgrace myself in Ohio than Las Vegas. I'd rather walk around Las Vegas acting like a librarian. I'd rather be surprised. And Vegas just seems predictable.

I'd love to infiltrate UNLV and find the people not majoring in hotel management or recreation. I'd love to have a long talk with the true nerds of Nevada, assuming they exist. Assuming there is another side. Now that would be interesting.