I LOVE THIS PHOTO.
It's shockingly bad but I paid $20.50 for two copies, one in a fetching black plastic frame, because it made me laugh. Um, photographer? Two of the alleged eyeballs in this photo are 100 percent hidden behind by Neill's seizure helmet. Neill is clearly having a good time - just look at that cheetos-stained grin - but it'd be nice if we could see the twinkle in his eye.
YOU KNOW IT'S THERE. He's standing inside a sharkjaw, for chrissake! And my eyes are closed.
When I forked over the $20.50 at the Newport Aquarium gift shop, I had a flashback to the summer of 1991, the summer I a) got my driver's license and b) babysat my cousins while their nanny was on vacation. I held the baby, Marie, in my lap at the DMV and everyone looked at me like I was just another teen pregnancy statistic AND, more relevant to the story, the four-year-old, Emily, called me "fat cheeks". Many times. Children are honest and yes, my cheeks are fat.
ps if anyone goes to the Newport Aquarium, please let me know how the virtual shark tank is because I, I mean, Neill tried to go in but chickened out and ran away before the virtual Great Whites showed up.