I have, in the last weeks, been told to get out of the Midwest more times than I can count. This friendly counsel is sometimes accompanied by discomfort when my thoughts get mathematical, scientific, or philosophical but sometimes it just seems like kind of a conventional thing to say, almost a reflex, "Bye. Love you too. Get out of the Midwest."
Dear friends: I thought ALL KINDS of random-ass sometimes-serious nonsense before I moved to Ohio. Y'all just didn't know as much because I wasn't publicly exposing myself on a blog like I am now. It used to be a secret between me and my pens and paper. I'd write in my journal and then shove it back in my backpack where my thoughts would lurk silently in the dark. I'm not going to deny that sometimes it's some fucked up shit, but it's not NEW. I get obsessed with digressions and have, in the past, woken up at stupid non-daylight hours to research the digressions because sometimes I just couldn't sleep when there were species of Costa Rican flora and fauna that I couldn't identify and cartoon superheroes whose powers I wasn't familiar with.
I have an incorrigible fondness for cussing, drinking, and having fun with people. I also adore getting enough sleep, learning big words, and being by myself. So whatever you are used to me being like is probably balanced at some point by my being exactly the opposite. In any case, Ohio is not to blame.
I am more focused and happier now than I have been in awhile so be happy for me, Midwest-haters. Ohio is not glamorous but neither is it forever and right now it is WORKING FOR ME. So when are you going to quit being a snob and come visit?