I refuse to feel bad about stealing toilet paper

This is what you can get for two Euros and fifty cents:

A cup of coffee, three hours of internet and four rolls of toilet paper.

Joanna Hudson, I want you to know that the reason I don't feel bad about sitting for hours at this cafe and only buying a cup of coffee AND stealing their property is because the people who work there are dicks.

They are cool, so cool that smiling might crack their image into a million little pieces. I know from bartending that when you're slammed, smiling is a frill. Something really great had to happen to make me smile when I was making nine cocktails while also changing a keg and fielding stupid comments from drunks.

But if business is slow and the person behind the counter is stony and dismissive, they aren't worth the paper they meant to wipe with. My ass earned it.

I also want you to know that there's another cafe I go to in Berlin where the man working behind the counter is totally quirky and nice and carries his kid in his arms when he delivers food and when the baby goes, "GAGAGA!" the dad imitates him, "GAGAGA!" and it's cute.

Here I order more than coffee and leave a big tip and I wouldn't DREAM of touching their toilet paper.


Anonymous said...

Jessica, old-school friend here. Not old-school like, "we've known each other since 8th grade", but old-school as in, "didn't we play Lego's together in 1975?"
So great to read what you're livin!! I've been peepin your blog for about a week now- I think your mom passed it along to my mom maybe? What a cool outlet for your journeys, for real. I've read many of your posts. When was the last time we spoke? I'm sure I've seen you since.... (maybe not?) but the last image I have of you is cheering me on in '92 at some cross-country meet!? Anyway, we got a ton of catching up to do whenever we cross paths again.
By the way, I hate and love L.A. too, and I also love how you always prop up the Nati!!! Do that more!!We had a ton of fun growing up as kids, I remember many of those days playing outside and running around w/ Neill as our moms had coffee or whatever. P.S. Even thou many of your posts discuss lack of sleep, always moving around, the hecticness, etc, what I see between all those words is someone who is very grounded and most of all, very HAPPY!!!! All sappiness aside, that makes me feel really good. You're awesome.


ronckytonk said...

Matthew Hood! thanks for writing. The last thing I remember of you is around 1992 also, at your place in Indiana, and you were playing with Anna under a tree and your mom told us how much you missed her when you went away to college. And you had started weightlifting or something because you had all these giant muscles.

And when you came to my First Communion. That was a good one, too.

It might not be the best place to catch up, but the next time I see you will be soon, at your WEDDING. Which is happening a few hours after I get to the Nati after this trip - it's the first thing I'm doing when I get back...see you then...